Some years ago I consulted with a leading executive coaching firm with C-level clientele. Working with one of their top managers and the company founder, we developed an audio program on the best ways to recover from unexpected setbacks in business and in life.
Setbacks are all too common. In business, perhaps a deal falls through, an expected promotion is denied, or a deadline is missed. In our personal lives, we lose a job, face an unexpected serious illness, have an accident, or a relationship goes to pieces. What’s the best way to pick yourself up and recover? How do you get firing on all cylinders again when you are caught up in a wave of regret, guilt, or fear of the now-uncertain future?
My client evaluated pro-level sports for instances where a team had just been sacked, had an interception, missed a critical point, or lost a key player to injury yet came right back and dominated their opponents. They conducted interviews with pros like Tiger Woods (then at the top of his game), Joe Montana, and Magic Johnson. They asked what was going through their mind and how they managed to achieve when they had just been dealt a bad hand.
What they learned was that those athletes had common coping strategies. They recognized that dwelling on what had just happened to them was fruitless. What was past, was past. They couldn’t change it.
They also realized that the future had lots of potential outcomes that could come to pass, but that none of them were set in stone. They were, in a real sense, beyond their control and all of the wishing in the world for success or fear of bad things happening was wasted energy.
Instead, they focused on the immediate present, and they relied on formulaic rituals and routines to keep them in the present. The present, they knew, was something they could control and, if they did what they had always done when they were successful, the likelihood was that they would be successful this time, too. They put the past and the future out of their mind, and concentrated on the now.
We’ve all probably seen the basketball player at the free throw line getting ready to make a shot. They are there because they or their team was fouled, perhaps injured in the preceding play. The crowd goes silent, and they and all of their team and their opponents are looking at them. You’ll often see the ritual kick in at this point. The player will look intently at the basket, then down at the ball. They’ll carefully dribble it down and catch it—perhaps once, perhaps two times, even three. Then they’ll take a breath and look up and make the shot. Swish!
What happened? In that few seconds, the crowd vanished. Their team vanished. The opponent team and its taunting vanished. The past was forgotten. The future was ignored. They did something that was so routine and so formulaic that they didn’t have to even think about it. They repeated the routine, and they concentrated on the ball, the bounce, the feeling in their fingertips, and the shot. And they made the shot.
Those who missed the shot either didn’t do their normal routine, or they were thinking about the foul, or they were thinking about how much making the shot counted. They weren’t there mentally.
I’ve often said that it’s best to be fired on a Monday. Firing someone on a Friday condemns them to stewing over the past and worrying about the future all day Saturday and Sunday before you can do something about making things better.
So next time you’re dealt a setback, take a moment for that regret of what didn’t work, a moment to recognize that the future is uncertain, but then put them out of your mind and do the routine that has made you successful. Concentrate on the “right now” immediate present. Put a foot in front of the other and take a step. Then another. You’ll be on the path to recovery and will soon be excelling again.
